mental undergrad

hey. i realized something today. i just really want everyone to know it. ok.

after tg elections today i had quite an epiphany. it reminded me of the first tg epiphany i had back in freshman year. i was filling out my first who's who sheet and for some reason found myself at a loss for words. some new, weird feeling filled up inside me and i thought to myself, "shit. i'm obsessed with these people. that's embarrassing." a month or so later i had my first tradition experience. when i saw everyone crying like they just watched their mother get gunned in the throat, i felt very relieved to know i didnt have to be ashamed of that little obsession and that i wasnt the only freak that felt it.

five years later (five years? thats distgusting) im at "college" and hate every second of it because i should be away like 90% of all my friends but i was too lazy and in denial to do essays or take the sats as much as i should have. i guess thats why i stuck around at rehearsal and whatnot so much. because i missed actually liking being home like i did the last four years and was depserate to get that comfort zone back.

what im trying to say is... i know i show up to more tg events than some actual guildies do. i know i shouldnt pay for the $20 shortage at fridays after opening night. i know i need to mentally graduate. but after being just as excited for this tg board as i was for last years when i was actually in it, i realized that even though im not in theatre guild anymore, its still what keeps me sane.

and i know it makes me sound like an obsessive freak, but youll always be my comfort zone<3